Sometimes healing doesn’t happen. Here on earth, anyways. Sometimes overcoming life’s tough challenges happens when you reach heaven.
A year ago today (April 15, 2013), Carol* finally experienced her healing and became the ultimate overcomer.
*Her real name, used with permission from her husband and children.
Fear Not Tomorrow
It started as a simple case of bronchitis in September of 2011. But it wouldn’t go away despite the various antibiotics Carol tried.
Carol and her husband Paul went to a musical at their church. The words of the song “Fear Not Tomorrow” offered her hope that God was already there, no matter what would be waiting ahead.
By November, doctors were suspicious and ordered a biopsy of her lungs. On November 16, 2011, Carol’s doctor delivered the shocking news she had small cell lung cancer.
“We’ll get you on a curative path,” were the words of hope from the doctors at MD Anderson. When she returned home, Carol began a regimen of chemotherapy and radiation.
Treatments
Christmas 2011
The tradition of having a family picture taken with Santa was still a must. On the side of the road, by the Big Chicken made it even more memorable.
Another round of chemo treatments started just after Christmas. By January, Carol’s hair began falling out so fast she decided to shave it all off. The treatments were brutal, causing radiation burns on her back.
By September of 2012, the report showed the cancer had spread to her liver. Her prognosis was 7 weeks without treatment and 6-12 months with treatment. She chose to continue treatments.
Carol made a point of talking with her husband Paul, her sons David and Jonathan, and her daughter Christin about the future. She would tell each of them, “I’m not having this conversation because I’m giving up. I just want to have it. I’m going to keep fighting.”
Jonathan, Carol, and David
An infection and a collapsed lung caused her to spend most of the month of October 2012 in the hospital. When she returned home, she began a different chemo and radiation treatment. Her hair began growing back – it was curly, which pleased Carol.
A Rapid Decline
By March of 2013, Carol began throwing up every few days, causing her to lose a lot of weight. Her hair began falling out again. She dealt with the pain by sleeping much more than usual. Concerned with these changes, her oncologist ordered a full body scan to determine if the cancer had spread. It had – to her brain.
Her health rapidly declined. Her husband and children soaked up every precious minute during her last few days.
Carol passed away the night of April 15, 2013. Her funeral, attended by the many who loved her, was a celebration of her life. “Fear Not Tomorrow” was sung at her funeral as a reminder to not fear the unknown, because God is already there.
Lost Her Battle? Overcomer?
On this one year anniversary of Carol’s passing, my goal isn’t just to share the physical and emotional struggles with Carol’s cancer. Rather, a glimpse of Carol’s personality and perseverance, her love for God and everyone she met, her positive outlook and determination to overcome are what I most want you to see. These, you see, are the character traits of an overcomer.
So I asked Carol’s daughter, Christin, to reflect on the idea of her mom being an overcomer. Here are her words: “To anyone who says my mom lost her battle with cancer, I would argue this – my mom did not lose her battle. She won. Her hope was in Christ all the way until her very last breath on this earth. My mom’s ultimate goal in life was for other people to see her life, the good parts and the bad parts, and give the glory to Jesus Christ. She felt any pain she suffered here would be worth it ten times over if her story could lead just one person to Jesus. Her eyes were fixed on eternity, not on temporary healing here on earth, but on an eternal, perfect, cancer free, and worshipful new life in heaven with her Savior. To her, life in heaven was the ultimate victory. She was willing to suffer for a little while here on earth, living out her faith consistently, in order to live forever with Jesus. No, my mom did not “overcome” her cancer through a miracle or healing of her earthly body. But she did live out her faith until the very end, prevailing over pain and opposition and grief, with a willing and faithful heart for the glory of God.”
Carol’s tight knit group of friends enjoyed spending time together before Carol’s illness, but each of them knew how much more important it would be after her diagnosis. The group, as many as could, met every six to eight weeks to encourage and love on Carol.
One of her friends shared this with me: “To know Carol was to love her and be loved by her. She made everyone in her life feel special and important. Watching her suffer both the mental and physical effects of the cancer was devastating. There was not one of her friends who didn’t wish we could have taken the suffering in her place. Losing her was the absolute hardest thing many of us have ever been through. For 18 months, her fight was unwavering as she showed everyone what true faith and courage looked like. She made me want to be a better wife, mother, daughter, friend, and follower of Jesus.”
My web site is about women and for women, but I couldn’t neglect sharing the love and adoration Carol’s husband still has for her. He writes, “One year ago today, Carol died. She was my Soul mate, my Best Friend, the love of my life, and the amazing mother of our children. We miss her from the deepest parts of our hearts. Our home is vacant of her smile and the laughter that lifted our life. She lived according to her deep faith, and she lived it well. She was a sweet treasure. Now, her faith is her sight. She is walking in the Place she hoped for. Her gorgeous smile and contagious laugh are brightening Heaven. The pain of cancer is gone. No more chemo. No more radiation burns. No more suffering. She made it to the Place where we will see her again. Psalm 27:13 says, ‘I remain confident of this – that I will see the goodness of The Lord in the land of the living. Wait for The Lord. Have a strong heart and be courageous. Wait for The Lord.'”
Share with me: Carol IS an overcomer, because she HAS triumphed over her foe. If you knew Carol, share your memories of her with us.
Carol was a precious friend who I miss daily. So many memories of laughter shared & stories exchanged! Even before her illness her faith was strong & bold. She loved life but she knew that there was more than that & had her eyes set on eternity. Losing her here on earth before we all wanted to is a struggle but knowing that she was going to her eternal home with her Lord & Savior gives me hope & peace. What a sweet reunion it will be with her when it is our turn to go to our eternal home. Sending my love & prayers to her family on this day.
Thank you for writing this post. He continues to be glorified by her life and physical suffering.
Oh, how I miss Carol. Her illness and passing progressed while I lived out of the country and I was only able to visit with her twice after her diagnosis. Our parting was not goodbye, but ’til we meet again,’ because we both knew we WOULD meet again. So thankful for her friendship in my life and her influence in our family. She was my teenage daughter’s Sunday School teacher the year we moved away and my daughter missed her teaching and amazing spirit greatly.
She never tried to present herself or her life as perfect, although to anyone looking in from the outside might make the mistake of thinking it/she was. Her joyful attitude to the ups and downs of life were truly one the of the MANY blessings of her friendship. I still have difficulty imagining a temporal world without Carol in it. And I will stop typing now as the tears are making it difficult to see.
If sweet Carol were able to sit in the school office today I would say to her that she has provided a link to the future by how she and her husband raised up a family faithful to the cause of the Christ. Even as her laughter still echos through the halls, the voice of her daughter teaches, prays, and loves on a classroom of fifth graders; what a reflection of the image of God and the image of a much loved mom. Oh glorious day when the trump will sound and we will forever be home together. I will find you when I hear your laugh. Look for me. I’ll be the old educator with a book in one hand and a school roster in the other.
I knew Carol when she and Paul lived in Richmond, VA. Carol and I were Mary Kay consultants under the same leader who was a mutual friend. We roomed together for conventions and spent some time together at meetings. She was a beautiful and fun woman even then. We lost contact through the years, and I didn’t even know she had faced this battle with cancer until I read your post. This is a beautiful testimony of Carol’s walk with the Lord. Thanks, Melony, for sharing this story. I look forward to seeing Carol again in eternity. I’ll be praying for Paul and their children.